While completing the exercise this week, I had gone into it with the mindset that I was going to have more luck than I have had with the past 2 exercises we have completed in this class. With the loving kindness exercise, I did not have any suck luck unfortunately. I sat there and attempted to clear my mind of all thoughts and just breath and relax, then I attempted to start repeating the phrases as instructed. Every other phrase, I had to open my eyes and reread them to remember where I was and know what I was attempting to repeat to myself. I could not get the phrases to stick in my head long enough to repeat them with any form of success. I think I was spending so much effort in remembering what I was supposed to be repeating that I lost all sense of any good I would have otherwise gotten out of this exercise.
Now for the Integral assessment. I had more success with this exercise I am happy to report. What I discovered about myself with this is that I do not pay enough attention to my own health and well being as I spend so much time and energy on my families, there really is never enough left over. I know I can improve on my nutrition, which would be the biological aspect, as I have many times where I am rushed or running from one place to another to drop kids off or pick them up and I will run through a drive through. I also have some work to do in the psycho spiritual aspect of my life as I do not fulfill my promises to myself to get back in the church as I always have been in my life, and work on my own inner areas such as self esteem and contentment. However, the area I chose as the area that I would like to work on is my interpersonal relationships. I can be a very harsh person, especially when I am upset, and unfortunately, the people who are closest to me normally end up taking the brunt of it. I am sure this is due to the fact that you tend to lash out at the ones you trust the most as you know they will be there the next day with no hard feelings and no grudges. I tend to do this at work as well, coming down hard on people under me for things done incorrectly, or when their knowledge is not where it should be for the job they are doing. I really liked the chapter in the reading this week that discussed the changing of the attitude form imposed to chosen. I think remembering teachings such as that will help me a great deal. Also, practicing a breathing exercise, or relaxation exercise on a regular basis may help me to relax a little more and become a little more peaceful with myself, which in turn can help me to be peaceful with other people.
Hi Jenn,
ReplyDeleteYou expressed your reactions to the Loving Kindness Exercise very well. I also agree that it felt very "scripted". I think that maybe one way we could change that feeling is to "reword" it with phrases that are more significant to us specifically. In our readings it said that Integral Health is a "dynamic" process, always changing. So I think it would be OK to change the wording to something that will influence us positively.
Take care,
Karin
Memorizing the phrases first helped when I recited the Universal Loving-Kindness Exercise. This way I could close my eyes and sincerely concentrate on the power of prayer. Assessing one's emotional intelligence puts mental health into perspective. I am guilty of lashing out at those I love. Anger that is not cognitively and rationally interpreted leads to bad decisions. Especially when you say something hurtful and end up to regret it. Only from experience have I learnt that thinking in anger before speaking lowers stress, entices better judgment, and builds a foundation for loving-kindness. I hope for the best in your intent to change and make better your interpersonal relationships. Peace be with you.
ReplyDeleteMemorizing the phrases sounds like a great idea if you are having a difficult time concentrating on the exercise itself. Maybe you will have better luck next time.
ReplyDeletegigi
I don't really have the problem of saying things I don't mean when I am mad. I never say anythign I do not mean. That is why I do not buy the apology people give after an argument, "I did not mean that, I was just mad" If I say it, I mean it...I just don't always verbalize EVERYTHING I want unless I am mad. Then I tend to ignore feelings or social niceties.
ReplyDeleteGigi..I can read a book and practically recite it back to you..but I could not for some reason memorize those few little lines. I am not sure if there is some trick that would have helped with this or not...Thanks for the support all!!
Hello Jenn,
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear that you a least had some luck with the integral assessment. I think that being able to realize the areas that need fixed is the most important part on a path to integral health. We often can't see what is right in front of our face's, and it can sometimes hurt us. So knowig the issues is half the battle. I also have an issue with lasking out once to much is built up. I can remember everything that someone has done to hurt me and instead of talking with them at the time I wait until it build into a mountain and I just snap. So I can really undestand this being something you need to work on, because I am guilty of thi behavior to.